I am what I consider a true manic these days. For me, I teeter more towards mania than depression more often than I use too. It is still a constant balancing act and I still have rough days where I have depression. However, it is not the suicidal depression that once accompanied my bipolar disorder and that is thanks to medication.
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When my father became sick about three years ago, I started to wake up almost nightly with night terrors. I would begin to cry and scream in my sleep to the point that my husband would wake up from a sound sleep and hold me as I tried to regain my composure and find a way to go back to sleep. Most of the time I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep at all and I would give up and just get up for the rest of the night, even if it was 3 AM.
I get to speak with a lot of different types of people every day. It often comes up that I am a mental health advocate; most of the time I get very positive responses. I will hear things like “thank you for the work you do” or “we need more people like you.”
Tosha Maaks is a mom and a wife who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when her youngest boys were only 2 years old. She raised all four of her children in a house where the topic of mental health was openly discussed. After going back to school in 2012 and a turn of events wound her up in jail because of mania, she decided that recovery was a thing that was going to take 100% of her focus. That the only way for her to be well and in recovery from her illness was to tell her story.