My version of love has changed from the past several years.
When I was younger, love to me was an infatuation.
When I was in my 20’s, love was lust – yes, there is a difference, but the label of love was used.
Now, in my late 30’s, love is completely different than I ever thought possible. It is not trivial. It is not selfish. It encompasses all there is about another person, rather than focusing on one thing they have to offer. There is no more taking advantage for a quick situational win. The focus has shifted to inclusion in all of life’s experiences.
Love to me now is something that is all of the before-mentioned, and something more.
It is being there for that person in the face of everything negative. You are there as a positive to show them a new face.
You are there to bolster them with invigorating words of support and strength of hand should the time ever come.
You are as comfortable in the silence, as you are in the hoopla.
You are also comfortable going to an elegant 5-star restaurant as you are a fast-food joint and home cooked meals.
Love means doing something you hate over and over again, but knowing the person you are doing it for makes them happy beyond belief. (Dishes and Laundry, yuck!)
It also sometimes means playing video games for 11 hours, because you secretly relish your sides bursting from laughing so hard, eating a wide array of junky snacks until you’re sick, having arguments over how best to play the game; afterwards camping out on the living room floor with a pillow and blanket, for you are too tired to make it back to the bed.
I wasn’t looking for a significant other when I joined Facebook several years ago; love shows itself in many ways, and it often doesn’t like to be sought - it just is.
I did not know what Bipolor was (outside of psychology books), but I was very much familiar with depression. I did not know the extent of what an ‘episode’ would entail, and truth be told I didn’t think it would matter. When an episode happened recently, due to post-partum from our beautiful newborn baby girl, I couldn’t have been more wrong. It does matter.
Love strengthens the bond between two people in the face of something unknown. What matters most is that you show respect through support, support through presence, and presence through love.
Don’t be afraid to show your love; don’t hide your feelings; don’t shelter your true self. You are who you are for a reason, and know that you have the ability to love, feel loved, and that you are loved.
Best thing I ever did was to follow where love urged me to go: I took the time to get to know and attempt to understand a beautiful woman, who happened to have Bipolar; I married the girl from Facebook; we’ve had awesome adventures for 6 years….that is, until October 17th, 2015. That was the day our daughter arrived, and a whole new love was born. I love them both. And I will love our all new adventures and experiences.
*If you have OCD like my wife, she has found the following apps extremely satisfying! Try these cool apps to take your mind away for a while: Recolor, Color Therapy, Colorfy.
Read the rest of Greg’s posts for IBPF here.