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Total, Partial, and No Control

The couch at the hospital near the bed of my brother felt hard and impersonal. He was facing surgery to have part of his foot amputated as a result of diabetes. 

The medical staff told us he would go into surgery at 11:45 am. It turned out to be 2:30 pm. Since he couldn’t eat or drink anything he was nauseated and vomiting. 

As we faced this challenge it helped us to ask ourselves “do we have total, partial or no control over this situation?” Knowing that we couldn’t hurry up the other 3 surgeries helped us accept that we had no control and choose to play Uno and listen to hypnosis before the procedure. 

This experience brought another story to mind. My dear friend had her life turned in a tail-spin when her husband sent her a text saying that he wanted a divorce, and then began threatening to kill himself. 

As my friend applied the “total, partial and no control” analysis she found that the only thing she had control over was trying to maintain some of her own sanity, so she spent time in her beloved flowers. This choice allowed her a sense of peace and she was able to get through the crisis one hour at a time. Eventually when the time was right, she suggested to her husband that they may be dealing with a mental illness issue. 

When we ask ourselves whether we have total, partial or no control over life’s challenges we are able to see more clearly and avoid holes in the road that may otherwise stop us.

Read the rest of Patricia's posts here


I liked this, partly because you wrapped it up quickly. Would like to acquire 'nocontrol' modalities because I feel out of control about the antipsychotic I am taking, which in studies has the highest incidence of metabolic syndrome, weight gain, insulin resistance and weight gain. And, what was even more interesting is that you can have all these problems even if you keep your weight down. I google a lot about studies regarding this. I want science. I don't want to get diabetes. What do I eat? What do I not eat? They say that a large part of this diabetes side effect is genetic and I sure as heck have no control over that. One of my relatives recently posted all chipper on facebook that he was having his foot amputated. The grace that comes with that level of acceptance and a good attitude, I don't know if I will ever be that godlike.

What a difficult situationn!!! It sounds to me like you are doing pretty much everything in your power to learn about your medication and disease.As you face the 4 stages of your loss (Denial, Acceptance, Rebuilding and Serving) I think it would be difficult to move into Acceptance when you're not sure what it looks like. There was a time in my life when I was in and out of a wheel chair for 18 months. Acceptance was nearly impossible as I went from doctor to doctor. It wasn't till one day when I was given a plasibo injection that I fell in a heap of crying and finally understood what acceptance would look like. I will pray for you to find your next step. God bless you, Patricia

Very neat article post.Much thanks again. Much obliged.

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