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Suicide

Why I Stay

November 19, 2018

By: Laura Sanscartier

In the throes of my bipolar depression and psychosis, all I wanted to do was die. This has happened multiple times in my life. I have attempted suicide multiple times. I was sure that the only way to relieve the stress on my spouse and family was to end it all. I had multiple plans, and the assuredness of mind that this was best. What I didn't see...
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Wife, Mother, And Survivor

November 16, 2018

By: Tosha Maaks

I am a lucky suicide survivor. In 2008 I tried to end my life after a hard day at my job. I came home, and I said good-bye to my children, and I climbed into bed to snuggle with my middle child and say my good-byes to him. My husband knew something didn’t seem right and knew how my state of mind had been in the previous days. He asked me what I...
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By Eleora Han, PhD

Sometimes life doesn't turn out as you plan. I learned this the hard way.I was living a secure, comfortable life. Married and about to graduate with my doctoral degree, most of my thoughts were focused on the family we would start together. The baby we would have once I graduated. Then, life happened. And with it, sleep deprivation. And...
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Dear Younger Me

September 17, 2018

By: Laura Sanscartier 

Dearest Laura,I call you dearest because I know you don't believe it about yourself, but you are dear to so many. Right now, at 19 years of age, you want to cease existing, and you're trying to figure out how. I want to tell you to STOP.  Stop and look around you. Stop and feel the softness of your blanket. Stop and look at the pictures...
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By: Danielle Workman

I used to believe that I had to stay alive for the big things. For the most important people in my life, for those big, enormous reasons that everyone tells you to stay alive for. It felt more like a responsibility and less like an actual reason to not die. It would loom over my head right next to my depression. It would make me feel like my life...
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By: John Poehler

I have a unique perspective when it comes to suicide. I am the survivor of multiple suicide attempts. It is difficult for me to admit this, but my goal is to help anybody in a situation where they are contemplating suicide. There is no need for me to go into specifics.  I would simply like to share some thoughts and ideas that...
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Combating Suicidal Depression

September 6, 2018

By: Tosha Maaks

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month and so many things come to mind when talking about this subject. I personally am happy to say I no long experience suicidal depression but many people with bipolar disorder have thoughts of suicide regularly. If you regularly think about ways to kill yourself, I am here to tell you it isn’t normal....
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Stepping into the Light

September 4, 2018

By: Aubrey Good

Around time last year I felt like a ticking time bomb. Everything in my life had spiraled so far out of control within the span of a few months that I was wondering if the whispers of suicide in my mind were pointing me to the right direction. At 25, I felt like my overstimulating and busy schedule had been swept up in a tornado, throwing each...
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By: Conor Bezane

 Common people do not have a monopoly on feeling hopeless and suicidal. It can happen to anyone, including celebrities.When a depressed Sinéad O’Connor sequestered herself in a New Jersey motel room in 2015, crying out for help in a 12-minute YouTube video, it was out of desperation. But the reactions from people on the internet were extreme....
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A Hug and a Whisper

July 16, 2018

By: Laura Sanscartier

In the battle against Bipolar Disorder, one often feels alone. This is nothing new. The disease is such that we are left feeling powerless. No one will ever feel the way that we feel, will never know the highs and lows, will never know the agony of suicidal ideation when things get so bad it seems there is no other way out. I have felt this way...
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By: Tosha Maaks

I am what I consider a true manic these days. For me, I teeter more towards mania than depression more often than I use too. It is still a constant balancing act and I still have rough days where I have depression. However, it is not the suicidal depression that once accompanied my bipolar disorder and that is thanks to medication.At one point...
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By: Carissa Martos

The first time I really contemplated suicide, I was a teenager, and there were two feelings, and only two feelings.The first was an inexorable exhaustion, one that had been dogging me for months, had finally grabbed hold of me, and I felt I couldn’t escape it. No amount of coffee, sleep, friendship, or excitement for the future could break into...
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